So my Twitter timeline and my FB newsfeed have been flooded with posts from single mothers putting their BDs on blast. Like...today alone, the posts have been OVERWHELMING. And embarrassing. It's so sad to know this many people in this same predicament. It also irks me to see how much we have absolutely no discretion about us these days. I love Facebook and Twitter and social networks in general because of the connections they afford me with old friends, family members, the networking opportunities, fan pages to support folks getting their hustle on, and so on. And yeah, I know your page is YOUR page and if I don't like something on it, I can make my way to the little white X in the top right hand corner and keep it moving. However, because of the way these sites are set-up, I can't completely control what's in my timeline. Plus, isn't that the point? To get a teensy glimpse into the part of your life that you choose to share? Yeah, so...with that said...
When are we going to have some dignity about ourselves and actually THINK about what we're posting? Has discretion gone the way of the dinosaur or what? And when are we gonna stop with the foolery that is people actually having the audacity to feel some kind of way about someone responding or commenting on what they consider to be mess when you posted that mess on a PUBLIC FORUM? Like seriously, did you just get salty and give me the side-eye through your computer screen and tell me to mind my business and keep my comments to myself? On a PUBLIC FORUM?
Kill yourself, k?
I don't know if this is a rant or a vent or whatever. I guess I just felt compelled or something to get this out because it is suddenly sitting on my chest and I need to express it. Now I am fully aware that you can use your page for whatever you want to. Just like I can use mine as I see fit and write notes about whatever I want. And right now, since I can't seem to get to sleep, and I think the baby mama/baby daddy drama is a disgrace, I'm writing a note about that.
STOP. THE. MADNESS. PLEASE.
You laid down with this cat, didn't use any contraception, probably HOPED for that baby, and now he's a trifling nigga. But you didn't see any of those same characteristics BEFORE those 13 minutes of gratification? Come on now. Knock it off. You can try to play the ignorant "he changed on me" car if you want to. I know better. YOU know better. People change, yes. But not that much and not that fast and not that drastically. Nine times out of 10, if he's a trifling dude who isn't around for his kid and would rather spend his money on Peach Ciroc and cover charges at the club, he was a trifling dude five years ago when you first started knocking boots with him, but he never called when he said he would. Or you were fighting up and down the street like some heathens because he had another chick on the side - or several chicks on the side - and you caught. He was the same trifling, inconsistent, lying, no count punk who didn't keep his word, always made excuses, and put everything and everyone before YOU. And now, three years later, he's doing the same thing to your baby girl or your son-son and you're SURPRISED?
NEWSFLASH: Children don't change people. No way, no how. Sure, SOME people step up and take their responsibility seriously and they handle their business. But let's be honest. A lot of these single mothers, if they could pass off their babies to someone else and have the freedom that they had BEFORE they got pregnant, they'd be just as trifling as these baby daddies that they're putting on blast. If not more. Stop playing. And act like you know that when you are airing your dirty laundry, and putting your kid(s) fathers on so-called blast on these social networks, you're putting YOU on blast, too. He's trifling? Okay. But is that really news to you? I doubt it. You look worse than him. And people aren't going to jump on your side and turn their noses up at HIM just because you're "putting him on blast." What is that supposed to do exactly? What? Force him to come see his kid regularly? Give up that money that he's spending on Nike boots and the latest brand of vodka? Stop choosing to party with the next flavor that's about to let him tap that to come spend Friday night with the kids? No ma'am, not so. And what about your child? How much energy are you wasting and how much precious time and attention are you depriving your child of by giving all that energy to that trifling man? All you look like is a bitter woman who is not getting what she wants, not a concerned single mother that wants her child's father to be there for the baby they made together. And then, you're doing it...on FACEBOOK. Grow up please.
At the end of the day, it's all about the interests of the child. And you might think your kids aren't on Facebook and Twitter and that may be true. But all that effort you're exerting to post your business on fb and twitter, you're carrying it in your shoulders around your house. It's all in the tone of your voice and the trudge of your feet and the anger in your tone when you snap at that child for something small.
Get it together. This is what the courts are for. I can't imagine having to fight with my child's father to take up his portion of the responsibility (and no, I don't have kids so yes, there are some things about the dynamics that I do NOT understand). But if you're going to sit back and complain, you might as well let a judge work your differences out for you. Clearly, the two of you aren't doing that and there obviously needs to be a resolution. So file those papers, honey. In the meantime, all you should be doing is being the absolute best parent that your child could ever possibly dream of having. Point blank, period. You can talk until you're blue in the face. If that daddy is going to be trifling and do him, then no amount of complaing and putting him on blast is going to change that. You handle YOUR business. And know that your babies are watching. They are not stupid. And they'll remember who was there.
Get it together.
